Bol rahi aadhi abadi (women) Azaadi! Azaadi! Freedom! oh wao! We have got it? really ? Freedom to vote, chose, eat, drink, write, wear whatever we want, study, not study, etc.
Freedom is something different for every individual. But when it comes to women,it is somewhere same for all. We all are fighting our own battles to achieve our form of freedom. It could be political freedom,freedom to study or even freedom to SURVIVE.
so here’s the thing ” GOOD MORNING” to those who think they are free nope you are not, maybe you are, maybe you just don’t know, maybe you know and chose to IGNORE IT, maybe you are trying to achieve it secretly or maybe you are so much trapped in patriarchy that you have never realized that you are trapped.
so here’s something on independence day for WOMEN!!
- BY TELLING THEM TO SHUT UP – It’s a shame that this practice is still here! Well, if you are somebody who is very vocal, you have experienced several incidents where you have been told to shut up directly or indirectly, you might have got gas lighten too (its the manipulation of someone by psychological means into doubting their own sanity). or maybe cornered or called a freak ,feminize, politician,what not!
And God forbid you aren’t much vocal and suddenly shared your opinion- BAM! everyone will be against you or staring at you like you have abused somebody in the last few minutes!
This is a very toxic and common practice in every household(don’t deny it,you need to observe it before arguing) with women. Whether you are a student or a CEO, there is possibility that you might have faced a situation like this at least twice in your lives.
It hampers the self esteem of women in extreme cases and tell them that they aren’t rational creatures but somebody who is meant to be tamed. A counter argument on this treatment makes you scared and most of the time,you try to avoid everything by shutting up.
DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN! - BY BELITTLEING THEIR CHOICES – “When will NO MEANS NO get into everybody’s head?” Ever wondered this? Women are often belittled for their choices. it could be the choice of career,food,anything. Here’s some real life examples- There’s friend who said she won’t elect a particular candidate and his neighbour said,” I am going to talk to your father about this”.
Such practices are still common in many areas.
Another instance is of another friend who went on date and was talking about how difficult it is to be an activist to which her date responded- “why did you even chose to be an activist? you can be a good wife.”
The latest way to belittle women’s chocies is through FRIENDZONE JOKES or I HAVE A BOYFRIEND JOKES. These jokes are problematic as they indirectly convey a message that women owe men a relationship or getting laid in the exchange of basic human behavior.
The phenomena of criticizing women for getting married early,late,or not getting married at all,Choosing to keep their own surname,doing a job after marriage or being a housewife is pretty common. - SETTING UP THE NORM OF “GOOD WOMAN – Thanks to popular media and culture,we have divided women in “categories” Don’t believe me? Switch on the TV! the daily soap will give you an idea where the heroine is a delicate darling,doing all the work in traditional attire and vamp will be some modern dressed-up woman,who is cunning. In broader perspective,the society has given us an idea of a “GOOD WOMAN”, along with that,it teaches us to be the good woman.
For example- Stay at home in the evening, be a virgin,don’t drink,smoke,do not ask questions,etc. this norm of GOOD WOMAN is toxic as it snaps the freedom of women to chose what they want to do and keep a check on them in the name of moral values. Even if a woman questions the system,she question herself first to understand if she is doing the right thing.
This idea of good woman also promotes the culture of abuse as it teaches men to correct,protect women. Honor killings are a very good instance where mostly,male relatives or the family,kill the girl (and her husband/lover) to save the family HONOR.
If you are a male,chances are high that if you ever met a woman who doesn’t follow the norm,you will find it unusual or your circle might think the same.
It rather makes a social construct for women to follow or try to follow the norm of being a good woman to be acceptable in the society. - BY MOCKING THEM IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY – Friend zone jokes anyone? Marriage joke,Women driving, Women getting ready for the party, Period jokes or worse! rape jokes! all these jokes make question the logic behind these jokes.
We mock women for almost everything,everday and expect them to smile/laugh at it all the time! and if a woman says “its not funny” she will be mocked more or called “too sensitive”
These “harmless” jokes are a way to spread misogyny itself. There is a psychology behind jokes. We laugh on something that we believe to be true. TIME TO QUESTION SOCIETY’S HUMOUR people!!
Is there a time in your life where you were furious but thought to keep it with yourself because you will be judged/mocked/belittled and ended up saying “Kuch nahi”? Welcome to the life of a woman! - BY SEPARATING THEM FROM THEIR BODY AND MIND – Sit like a lady! Walk like a lady! Okay these are small basic things we have been taught. From hiding your periods to getting shamed for having female bodily features,the society have separated women from their own body and minds.
Women are told that they have to be beautiful,a good wife,sister,mother more than being an individual. Women are shamed for applying/not applying make up, going to salons/not going their,having a tattoo or doing whatever they want to do with their bodies.
The recent incidents of sexism in Rio Olympics where women’s identities were often described as somebody’s wife,girls gives us an idea about no matter what you do,the society and your males relatives “own” you.
So,these are 5 things done by society consciously/subconsciously where women’s freedom is snapped! Be careful ladies! You are not free even now!
